Never Knowingly Undersold
It was early morning in a secluded corner of Vandykville and Ramsey Nettlefield was spending a penny when his little daughter Nanette called to him from their tent.
Ramsey harrumphed crossly. He liked his early morning quiet time alone and always spent longer in the toilet tent than he really needed.
“Yes Nanette, we are. Shall we walk to Waddlingtown today? The ticket prices on the bus have gone up by 5 pence since we last went.”
“Oh Daddy, please can we get the bus, it’ll take me 5 hours to walk there and I’ll get ever so tired.” Ramsey considered this and grudgingly thought that the extra 5p maybe was worth spending to save Nanette such a long walk. “Ok. We’ll take the bus. Let me just get my rucksack and we’ll be off.” After what seemed like an eternity as Olive chatted away to each passenger getting their ticket, they finally reached the front of the queue. Ramsey couldn’t help himself remarking that it was disappointing to see that prices had gone up as he handed over his money. Olive flashed him a beaming smile and resisted the temptation to tell him where to get off even before he’d even got on. She smiled sympathetically at Nanette who just giggled at her dad’s miserly ways.
As the bus pulled in to Waddlingtown the passengers could see a gathering of friends and family eagerly waiting for them.
Stan was used to such scenes when he dropped passengers off in Waddligtown and so calmly got out his packed lunch and made the most of his break before driving on to the next stop. Ramsey glimpsed Stan’s sandwiches and was pleased to see that the extra bus fare was not funding extravagant sandwich fillings, maybe it was being spent on petrol after all.
The children turned, ”Oh please can we go Daddy, please, please, please, we would love it so much.”
Despite his concern about the cost of new toys, even he couldn’t resist the pleas of his cute children and reluctantly said they could go. After careful deliberation the children finally made a decision, Nanette couldn’t wait to take the trumpet outside and make a proper racket, William was looking forward to cuddling up with the rabbit in his cot at night.
The toy cafe was busy with babies, Rachel was happy to care for them while their parents hurried off to complete weekend chores, she knew they’d be back for a coffee and chat later on.
He announced his outrage and intentions to Caprina who immediately tried to calm him down and dissuade him from going to so much trouble for the sake of just one pence. Her actual motivation for not wanting Ramsey to go and make a fuss was that she had to live in this town and didn’t want to rub the Maples up the wrong way. However Ramsey could not be persuaded to change his mind and Caprina’s protests fell on deaf ears as he reached into the bag for the trumpet.
Moments later, Ramsey stormed back into John Lewis. Holding the trumpet aloft, he called over to Georgina, “Never Knowingly Undersold my foot! You’ve only been open for one day and already I have found one of your products cheaper elsewhere.”
“I’m terribly sorry Mr Nettlefield,” stammered Georgina, “I can’t think how this happened.” Seeing that Ramsey looked quite irate and that Georgina was currently dealing with another troublesome customer, Theodore stepped in to try to diffuse the situation. “Please do come to the till and we will of course refund the difference. Now then, how much cheaper was the trumpet in the other shop sir?”
“Here is your penny.” Satisfied, though still slightly put out, Ramsey turned to leave unsure whether he would have the confidence to shop here again.
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“Daddy, are we going to see Mummy and William today?”
When they arrived at the bus stop a queue had already formed so Ramsey and Nanette waited to get on; Nanette patiently and Ramsey impatiently thinking that with the increased ticket price The Woodland Bus Company could have invested in a more efficient ticket machine.
Soon the bus was on its way and Ramsey might have been interested to know that it was in fact possible to travel by bus for free if you were sneaky enough!!!!
Excitedly, Pearl Babblebrook rushed up to the bus shouting all the latest news to her good friend Flora Wildwood. “Ooh Flora. I have the most wonderful news for you. You couldn’t have come on a better day. The new department store has finally opened. I had planned for us to go back to mine for coffee and cake, I baked a lemon drizzle only this morning, but what say you to a nosy round the new shop and then we can put their refreshments to the test.” Flora readily agreed to this plan. Anything to avoid eating any of Pearl Babblebrook’s baking. It was only Pearl herself who did not know about her reputation as being the worst cook in Sylvania.
The Mayor and his wife waited with more decorum for the Puddlefords to alight from the bus. Beth was very interested to hear about her brother’s duties and responsibilities. She was very proud of him and all that he was achieving in Waddlingtown. Behind then a slightly more exuberant reunion was occurring with lots of hugging and squealing. The girls’ Saturdays off from work didn’t often coincide so this was a rare treat and they were intending to make the most of it.
“I’ve heard the new store has an excellent toy section, shall we treat the children, we don’t buy them new toys very often,” suggested Caprina.
“Stay in town!” exclaimed Ramsey, “I was expecting a day of peace and quiet, I heard enough noisy chatter on the bus; a busy shop will be even worse. “ His wife chuckled, “Oh stop being so grumpy, you’ll have fun once we’re there and William and Nanette will be so excited.” By the time they arrived at John Lewis, it was already busy with other customers. All the residents of Waddlingtown were very excited to have this new shop and wanted to show their support to the Maples and the Doughtys as they started this new business venture.
Eagerly the children scurried up the steps and Caprina hurried to open the door for them, Ramsey followed more slowly dragging his feet, he hoped this would be a quick trip and that the children would make a decision easily.
Georgina was thrilled to have her first small customers. She had been dreaming of this moment for a long time and had put a lot of thought into arranging all the toys. She rushed forward to help out the Nettlefields and give them the best customer experience.
As the children browsed the extensive selection of toys, Ramsey hovered uncomfortably near the door. Suddenly he caught sight of a sign with John Lewis’ slogan, ‘Never Knowingly Undersold.’ Although still grudging this unnecessary and frivolous purchase he was reassured to know he’d be getting the toys at the best price. Once they’d made the purchase Caprina suggested going upstairs to A Place to Eat for a cup of tea and a piece of cake. Ramsey wasn’t sure that the Never Knowingly Undersold principle applied to tea and cake and so suggested going down the road to the Forresters’ play cafe where prices were reasonable and the children could play for free.
Nanette and William happily starting playing while Caprina and Rachel caught up on the gossip of the town. Ramsey meanwhile was inspecting the toys on sale, all of a sudden he caught sight of a familiar looking toy. There was a trumpet that looked identical to the one they had just purchased in John Lewis.
He picked it up to inspect it and then gazed in astonishment at the price; it was one pence cheaper! How could this be!? The slogan Never Knowingly Undersold played like a record in his head. It had been such a comforting assurance; he was left feeling utterly let down and more importantly, one whole pence out of pocket! Before he could completely sink into despair, he remembered the small print he’d seen on the sign. It had said that if you found an identical product at a cheaper price you could claim the difference. “Right, that’s it,” he thought, “I’m going to get my one pence back!” Caprina watched helplessly as her determined husband marched out of the shop and back down the road.
Slightly mollified, Ramsey headed for the till. “Well yes thank you. You have certainly been over charging for it here. You charged me a staggering £3 for it whereas Mrs Forrester is selling it for only £2.99.” The Maples looked at each other bewildered at his over reaction to a price difference of a penny. “We’re terribly sorry,” Georgina managed to get out whilst stifling a chuckle.
The Maples were left shaking their heads, bemused at the scene that had just unfolded. “Maybe we should have chosen a different slogan?” suggested Theodore. “Oh, I don’t know, I think it has a good ring about it. I’m sure it’s one of those slogans that will stand the test of time and give us the reputation for being the best department store in the whole of Sylvania.” Georgina replied. “Yes you’re right, “ agreed Theodore, “Everyone, except perhaps Ramsey Nettlefield, will put their trust in a store that is Never Knowingly Undersold.”
The end. |